More Hidden Treasures of Epcot

Photos from the China and England pavilions

More First Day Pictures

Our First Day at WDW

Sorry for the big delay, everybody! I figure that pictures say much more than words, so I'll give a quick explanation and post a few here.

Our first day at WDW was spent at the Magic Kingdom. All I can say is that it really was...magical. Sorry to be so cliched, but that's the best description. We had an early breakfast at the Crystal Palace, before the park opened. It was incredible to walk down Main Street nearly alone, without the usual crowds (this was why I scheduled a breakfast at 8:15am for our first day!). It was a character meal featuring Pooh and friends. The food was great - but I was so busy keeping the kids fed and meeting the characters that I didn't eat much of it. Our first ride - at Helena's request - was The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. She loved it, but closed her eyes as soon as the Heffalumps and Woozles showed up. (Later in the week we tried again, and she kept her eyes open that time.) It was a wonderful day, and the kids were so good!

The best part of the day was Helena's monorail experience. She was charged up and ready for the day when we drove to the Transportation and Ticket Center to board the monorail and go from there to the Magic Kingdom (we had to drive the first day, as it was earlier than the busses were running). When we were waiting for the monorail to come, a cast member struck up a conversation with her and succeeded in getting her to talk. After a few minutes, he handed her a Transportation Trading Card with Snow White on it. She smiled the biggest smile in all of creation and said, "I got a ticket!" Well, after that it was non-stop chatter about breakfast with Pooh and "all my friends from the Hundred Acre Wood" and the castle and how high up we were on the monorail...

By far, the best part of the vacation was experiencing my kids' reactions to everything. Doesn't matter what they remember, because I'll remember!

Annoyingly Self-Congratulatory Post

YIPPEEE!!!

Just before I left for vacation, I hurriedly finished my latest BYU class, British History From 1689 to the Present. (That title alone really sparks your interest, right?). I finally got my midterm and final exam grades and they are...drumroll...a 97% (that's an A) on the midterm and an 89% (B+) on the final! Okay, they aren't perfect, but if you knew how fast I whipped up this class you'd be impressed. MANY thanks to Dan, Joel, and Caity for watching the kids so I could do two exams in three weeks (not counting the 24 essays I had to write!) and still manage a reasonable grade!

I also sent in an email to the DisUnplugged Podcast and it was read on the air! This is the second time this is happening. I'm sure any day they'll be bringing me down to Orlando as a guest host, all expenses paid. Just wait.

Could winter just be OVER? The roads are horrible, it's cold, and there is 3 feet of snow on my picnic table. That includes all the snow that was smushed down on the bottom layer. Plus, Hunter's sick with another cold. Geez.

Worldly Revelations

Whew! We're finally home, after a long two-day drive (it seemed longer on the way home) featuring two kids, two adults, an enormous inflatable Princess balloon, and the worst snowstorm I've ever traveled through. Apparently, the police were asking people to stay off the roads except in an extreme emergency. We didn't know that, but we were so close to home...

Dan took six million photos, but they aren't all uploaded to the computer and organized yet, so instead I'll just give a few observations of our trip, for what they're worth, and then give the travelogue later.

First, we realized just before we left that we need to put our priorities on spending special time with our kids now, before they get older and lose that wonder that young children have. I saw a teenaged girl at our hotel, sitting outside of her room, texting a friend on her cell phone, and knew I only had about 10 more years before Helena's at that age. Although we might have to sacrifice other things - a perfect home (well, we're pretty far from that already), new furniture, late-model vehicles, convenient eating out, etc. - it's much more worth our time and money to vacation, or at least dedicate special family time, with our kids NOW, not later. (Not that we won't vacation later, but it won't be the same).

Also, I feel better. The kids are behaving better. The stress knots in my stomach and shoulders are gone. I have more energy and focus and I'm excited to get started on a new BYU class, work on my calling, etc.

We also saw over and over the way Helena, particularly, would get into the "magic" of the whole experience. Let me reiterate that Walt Disney World is NOT an amusement park and bears no resemblance to one, except perhaps when there are lines. (Even those brought good memories for Helena. Today she pretended for about 15 minutes that she was waiting in line to see her "friends from the Hundred Acre Wood.") Hunter, of course, had to spent a lot of time strapped into a stroller, but sometimes he'd get a great view from Dan's shoulders and he just about leapt off in excitement. Even the smallest things mean so much to kids.

As we were driving home, there were some things I wasn't looking forward to returning to at home that I've reviewed and will do whatever I can to improve, change, or if necessary, eliminate. We also talked about the things about WDW that make us so happy, and we'll try to add those into the family atmosphere whenever we can. Coincidentally, they are all things that the gospel has already taught us to do, so it will be more of the same "path to perfection" stuff for us.

I'm glad, too, that Mitt Romney dropped out of the presidential race while I was in sunny, warm, delicious Florida. I didn't spend more than a few minutes on it there, whereas I would have analyzed it endlessly if I were here, packed into my igloo.

More on the way...and I promise it will be less contemplative!

"New York Doll"

If you haven't seen this film - really a documentary - yet, do everything in your power to watch it, soon. It will be particularly meaningful if you are a Latter-day Saint, but definitely isn't limited to an only-LDS audience. I hope I haven't posted about this before and am thus boring everybody, but this movie tells the story of Arthur "Killer" Kane, bassist for the New York Dolls, a rock band popular in the late 1970s, who joined the Church in 1989. I watched it tonight while I was walking on the treadmill. Somehow, his story fills me with gratitude and gives me hope and assurance that God gives us what we need most when it's most needed.

Recently I posted about a good day. Today was...less good. Sometimes I am absolutely awed (and concurrently angry!) that two children under the age of 4 years could so universally destroy each and every room of our house. That's each of the bedrooms, both of the bathrooms, the living areas, and even the basement. I have two options: I could become a Cleaning Nazi, which was my mom's tactic, or I can let them (more or less) loose in the house and tidy up later. I've been taking Option Two but I admit that I'd be much less successful without Dan's "Hurry Up and Clean" style after he gets home from work. (Then I remember this Ensign article I read once...this was from the 1970s, and it was encouraging women to better manage their lives, so that they could comb their hair, tidy up the house, put on a little lipstick and greet their husbands with a calm and loving smile when they returned from work. The feminist in me groans! It's a lovely ideal, but it would take a lot of grace to get me to that point.)

There is a Winter Storm Warning for the weekend here in MI. These things always disappoint, don't they? I mean, give me 2 feet of snow and cancelled church and completely impassable roads. THAT is a proper Winter Storm. Don't even classify it if we're just going to get a few inches of snow and some wind. Honestly.

I wish I had some pictures, or interesting stories, or whatever. The only thing I can thing of is Helena's comment tonight. She was about to get on the potty and take care of business, when she looked over at me and said, in complete seriousness, "Mom, I'm going to get on the potty and go pee, and then I'll flush the toilet and Bennie (our cat) can come in and have a drink. Bennie!!! Benihana!!!!"

And of course Hunter doesn't say much yet. But he is so precious! This is where only photos can approach justice for his adorability. He grins, he babbles, he crawls at lighting speeds around the house and up the stairs, with his trademark sashay (his little butt swings dramatically from side to side as he crawls.). His favorite thing to do - painful for the recipient but hilarious all the same - is to grab you by the hair and pull your head down to his tummy, where he fully expects you to give him Big Tickles. It's always worth the pain from the hair-pulling because he gives you Big Soul Laughs in exchange for the Big Tickles.

I'll try to get some more photos on here for next time...give you something worth looking at!

"Shouting is the sign of a weak mind straining to be heard."

A Good Day

Today WAS a good day. Nothing specific; it was just nice to spend time as a family (we had a "campout" in our living room, complete with mess kits, tents, and s'mores.). I also worked for a long time on my current BYU class (English History from 1689) in preparation for my midterm, and following soon after, my final exam. I will be done with this blasted course by the time I pack the van for Disney World.

In that Disney World vein: Tonight I watched a large portion of the Republican/Democratic debates from New Hampshire, and you know what I've decided? Mike Huckabee just isn't a very nice man. No more detail unless it's asked for, because this isn't a political blog. It's just what I came away with. Anyway - the whole thing got me a little riled up, so I went downstairs to do some laundry (what numbs your mind faster than laundry???) and I had my "sounds of Walt Disney World" channel playing on the computer from when I'd been studying. Hearing that nice peaceful monorail loop soundtrack spirited me away to a much, much, happier place, where politics don't exist - because it's a benevolent monarchy. In fact (skip ahead, this is boring), the community of Lake Buena Vista has about 6 permanent residences for legal purposes, but is completely controlled by the Disney company. That way they can make changes to the property (which is twice the size of Manhattan) without opposition.

Another good thing that happened today was that I made it all the way through one of my early 90s Susan Powter workouts - and I didn't feel like retiring to my bed for the remainder of the day! Susan's gone absolutely bonkers now, but her energy is infectious without being obnoxious.

The only thing keeping today from being fantastic is that Hunter is teething. The poor thing has this enormous tooth cutting right through his tender little gums...Helena tried to encourage him by telling him it would make chewing food so much easier. He just cried at her.

Helena anecdote of the day: This morning our Primary hosted a "Meet Your New Teacher" breakfast for the kids. Helena is now a Sunbeam (!) and was thrilled to go to a real activity. The event was very nice, fairly well-attended, etc., but my favorite part was the end. Sis. Wilson asked for prayer volunteers, and Helena looked at me like she wanted to, but wasn't sure if she could. I told her to go up to Sis. Wilson (since no one else was volunteering) and tell her you'll do it. Well, Helena refused help, naturally, and proceeded to offer one of the best prayers I've ever heard her give. It was even appropriate to the occasion: "Thank you for this nice breakfast and all the meat [they served ham]"..."Thank you for Jesus"..."Thank you that all our friends could come." Andrea and I were cracking up as reverently as possible, knowing half the kids had their eyes open. It was a fun time for the grown-ups, too.

Resolve

Since it is the beginning of 2008, I've been considering what I want my New Year's resolution to be. In a way I almost believe it doesn't matter, because I so often fail. But without going into too much detail, here it is: I will be a better person at the end of 2008 than I was at the beginning.

How's that for nebulous?

But I am utterly serious. I'm not talking about looking better, or having something more. I'm talking about my spirit and my soul becoming...more. Will I be translated this coming December? Probably not. I need many decades to get within walking distance of perfection, but isn't the beautiful thing about being human that at least we can try? The poor spirits who decided to follow Satan don't even get the opportunity. As a child of God, I know we all have the gift of progression and the capability to have our souls refined until they are beautiful. It's a lovely truth.

I've already confessed to being a fan of corny movies and dopey TV shows. But did you know that "Tiny Dancer" as performed by Ben Folds is one of my favorite songs? Come see me in 10 years, it will be something different. Of course, there are bands and performing artists who I've always loved, among them Simon and Garfunkel, the Beatles, Judy Collins, and most of the Aerosmith catalogue.

If you're all planning your own New Year's resolutions, remember that the only thing that counts is what you're doing today towards your goal. Progression, or regression, are only defined by which way you're facing.

Fact Over Fiction, Every Time

I have to start out by apologizing for the long drought in blogging. I could blog about Christmas (if I had the pictures on the computer) or New Year's but I don't have the time or "brain energy" tonight. Instead I want to insert a mostly forgotten, but absolutely true, moment from American History, taken from the book "John Adams" by David McCullough.

In July of 1826, the two great patriots, former Presidents of the United States, and friends John Adams and Thomas Jefferson both lay seriously ill at their homes in Quincy, Massachusetts and Monticello, Virginia.

"Early on the morning of Tuesday, July 4, as the first cannon of the day commenced firing in the distance, the Reverend George Whitney arrived at the house to find 'the old gentleman was drawing to his end. Dr. Holbrook was there and declared to us that he could not live more than through the day.' Adams lay in bed with his eyes closed, breathing with great difficulty. Thomas sent off an urgent letter to John Quincy to say their father was 'sinking rapidly.'

As efforts were made to give Adams more comfort, by changing his position, he awakened. Told that it was the Fourth, he answered clearly, 'It is a great day. It is a good day.'

At Monticello, Thomas Jefferson had been unconscious since the night of July 2, his daughter Martha, his physician Robley Dunglison, and others keeping watch. At about seven o'clock the evening of July 3, Jefferson awakened and uttered a declaration, 'This is the Fourth,' or 'This is the Fourth of July.' Told that it would be soon, he slept again. Two hours later, at about nine, he was roused to be given a dose of laudanum, which he refused, saying, 'No, doctor, nothing more.'

Sometime near four in the morning Jefferson spoke his last words, calling in the servants 'with a strong clear voice,' according to the account of his grandson, Thomas Jefferson Randolph, but which servants he called or what he said to them are unknown.

Jefferson died approximately one o'clock in the afternoon on July 4, as bells in Charlottesville could be faintly heard ringing in celebration in the valley below.

At Quincy the roar of cannon grew louder as the hours passed, and in midafternoon a thunderstorm struck - 'The artillery of Heaven,' as would be said - to be followed by a gentle rain.

Adams lay peacefully, his mind clear, by all signs. Then late in the afternoon, according to several who were present in the room, he stirred and whispered clearly enough to be understood, ' Thomas Jefferson survives.'

Somewhat later, struggling for breath, he whispered to his granddaughter Susanna, 'Help me, child! Help me!' then lapsed into a final silence.

At about six-twenty his heart stopped. John Adams was dead.

...That John Adams and Thomas Jefferson had died on the same day, and that it was, of all days, the Fourth of July (50 years past 4 July 1776), could not be seen as a mere coincidence: it was a 'visible and palpable' manifestation of 'Divine favor,' wrote John Quincy in his diary that night, expressing what was felt and would be said again and again everywhere the news spread."

I've studied John Adams in some detail and believe he represents the best in American statesmanship. If I were participating in the "Hawkeye Cauci," I would be looking for a candidate with his qualities.

Eight Great Years!

Dan and I will have been married eight years tomorrow. Isn't that unbelieveable?! It doesn't seem so long, that's for sure, but then, it seems like we've been together forever at the same time.

Now, although I have plenty of sappy, loving things to say, they aren't going to be said on this blog! I'll say them to Dan instead, who will probably appreciate them more and not throw up a little bit in his mouth while he hears it, like you might if you had to read it. Instead, I'll take a cue from Caity's recent blog and talk about how things are with Dan and I today.

1. How long have you been married? Eight years.
2. How long did you date? Ummm...technically since I was 16, but I think we "knew" earlier than that: I was 14. That's 14 years.
3. How old is he? Dan's 29 - he'll be 30 in Feb.
4. Who eats more? At one sitting, it's definitely Dan, but on some days I bet I eat more just by grazing.
5. Who said "I love you" first? That's hard to remember. I think it was Dan...
6. Who is taller? Dan, by a lot - he's 6' 2"
7. Who sings better? Well, I guess I do, but there's a lot of untapped potential in Dan's voice.
8. Who is smarter? Dan would probably say I am, because I have all of this information in my brain, but when it comes to practical and useful things, it's Dan by a mile. I write better than he does but he can do nearly EVERYTHING you can imagine, so there it is.
9. Who does laundry? Me, mostly.
10. Who does dishes? Me, mostly.
11. Who cooks dinner? Me (or at least I buy it from somewhere!)
12. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? I do.
13. Who pays the bills? Our computer and bank work together on that one. :)
14. Who mows the lawn? Dan - I've done it before but he's, I don't know, 40 times faster than me.
15. Who drives when you're together? Usually Dan, but if I want to get somewhere fast I drive. It seems faster if I'm driving.
16. Who is more stubborn? Um, we both are, but I'm more vocal. Surprise.
17. Whose parents do you see the most? Mine. They live nearby.
18. Who proposed? Dan did. That is a whole separate post!
19. Who has more friends? I guess I have more friends, but Dan has more work acquaintances and interaction with the outside world.
20. Who has more siblings? If you include all of my stepsiblings along with my one natural sister, i have 8 siblings, as opposed to Dan's 7 natural siblings. But if you include HIS stepsiblings he has MANY more. In fact, I cannot count them.
21. Who wears the pants? Get ready - sit down - put down your drink - Dan does! I just talk more. The buck stops with him.

There are a few things that I particularly love about Dan that I want to post here, for posterity. :)

First of all, he's the perfect dad. Our kids are both enamored with him. He has a really deep sense of spirituality that moves him to tears, which I find endlessly endearing. He knows the value of work and isn't afraid of it - snow and cold won't stop him from fixing the car or taking out the trash! I have never worried about whether or not he can provide for our family's necessities, and some wants. He is faithful in his covenants. He isn't fake. He has a funny laugh - when he sees something he finds totally hilarious, he has this kind of high, "girly" laugh that is fantastic. You should hear it. Family is important to him. He puts up with my extended family. :) He is a talented artist. There is no skill at which he does not, or could not, succeed if he wanted to (cross-country skiing and ice skating come to mind - he hit them both on the first try.). He loves me and thinks I'm beautiful no matter how self-deprecating I am. We share the same goals and values. He accepts, more or less, my devotion to Walt Disney World. We like the same things, except for seafood, and the best part of my day is when he's done with work and can be with our family.

I've loved you nearly forever, Danny, and I'm so grateful you married me. I must have done something very right in the pre-existence to find you!

Oops. Sorry to my Loyal Fans for that Sappy Moment.

And I'm curious - what side of the bed does everybody sleep on? Just wondering.

Direction for a nation - Hoorah for the Bra!

Mitt Romney's speech? Spot on.

After this speech, Romney has my vote. He finally showed emotion and passion and conviction about something that is clearly close to his heart. His address went beyond his own campaign and reminded us all that America is a great nation, founded on great principles, where liberty is considered a right given to each person by God and is thus respected by government. If his practices as President stem from those principles we're on track. The only thing I think he has REALLY flip-flopped on is this NRA thing. I don't think he hunts, I don't think he believes that hunting is universally right (see the teachings of Joseph Smith and Brigham Young on this topic), and he probably doesn't own any guns, unless they are used for decoration in his study or something. But he must have felt that joining the NRA would shore up his support among us gun-toting Republicans. His other changes in opinion (for lack of a better word) come, I think, from a more careful consideration of the effects certain legislation could have in a long-term view. And at least he had the courage to change when he felt it was time.

Plus, and this is no small thing: Even though he has clearly been blessed by wealth and privilege, he has been successful in almost all aspects of his life (I can't really give examples of his failures). His success in business, in particular, hasn't come from his father or other sources - it's come from his own efforts. Why would he, all of a sudden, fail at being the President of the United States?

BUT - who cares about politics? Let's get to the good stuff.

A couple of days ago, Helena was shopping at Wal-Mart with my mom. As they walked along, Helena stopped at an endcap display and said, "Ga-ga, can you buy me one of these?" She was pointing at some bright purple bras. My mom said, "Well, honey, those are bras for girls when they get bigger." "But I'm a big girl!" Helena replied. (She had her there: Helena's twice the size of most kids her age.) "I guess we'll need to call your Mommy then" says Ga-ga, cracking up inside. So, the phone rings at my house, and I pick up. It's Helena. "Mommy, can I have a bra?" "What? What do you need a bra for, Helena?" I say, shaking with laughter. (I didn't know she even knew it was called a bra!) "I need it to cover my things and keep me warm when I go to bed." "Most girls don't wear bras to bed, honey." (Nice retort, me.) "Plus, they don't have it in your size, Helena." "Well, next time we go to Meijer maybe we can buy one in my size." "Maybe when you get just a little bigger, sweetie."

Also in the family news: Emma had a baby today! That's right, 3-year-old Emma had a healthy baby girl. Helena and Tanner assisted in the delivery, which occurred on our coffee table in the living room. It came right out of Emma's belly button and it "didn't hurt at all!" Everybody's healthy, but I think Emma left her new baby here at our house.

Speaking of babies, we found a Baby Pooh that is sort of like those Glo-Worm thingys: it's face lights up and it plays songs and stuff. That is, it does when it has batteries. Helena asked me to put batteries in it today - it's been literally years since it's had any juice - since she noticed the battery pack inside, so I found the AA's and put them in. When I pushed on Pooh's tummy, his face lit up and the song started and Helena got MAD! "Babies DON'T GLOW! They DON'T GLOW!" (Imagine her maddest face and a truly distressed voice.). "Take out those batteries! They DON'T GLOW!" A couple of hours later, I found the Baby Pooh That Shouldn't Be Glowing in the recyclables box. Nice.

And Hunter says Mama. Life just can't get any better.

Thanksgiving

I have so much to be thankful for...it would take the whole post just to list a few of them! Basically I realize that I've been blessed beyond what I deserve and it brings me joy.

This year I was assigned (for lack of a better word) to make the turkey. I had Dan pitch in to help a little, because I could not stick my hand up the business end of a turkey without gagging. Here are a few shots showing our progress:


First rule of cooking: Make sure you have everything on hand!


We put the bird in the sink. I actually prayed over this bird. I realize that Heavenly Father must get a lot of prayers over the turkey on Thanksgiving, but I just didn't want to completely screw this up. After all, a turkey gave its life so that we could enjoy this tasty meal, right?


All bagged up and ready to go! At Rachel's suggestion I decided to go with the Reynolds Oven Bag. It was easy to put together and came with simple directions. Dan thought he could improve on the directions by "injecting" some butter underneath the turkey's skin; instead, he just put two little drainage holes for the juice to leak out of.



I also made some apple pies (someone else made pumpkin). After some practice I'm now able to do pies pretty easily, and it's relaxing to put the crust together, roll it out, smooth it carefully into the pie pan. One of the pies has an "A" for apple cut into the crust; another has an "H" for Helena.

I don't have a good "final turkey" photo, because after we removed the bag it all looked pretty messy. It tasted okay, especially the dark meat, but the top breast was a little bit dry. Oh well. Practice makes perfect and I'll probably get another chance to work on it in the future. Also, my pictures look a little dark. There's another area I where I could use some improvement!

Love at Home

I am a bit of a homebody. Given the choice, I'd just usually rather be at home (of course, occasionally I'm crawling to get away!). I have a friend (Tammy) who has a really nifty organization system she uses for the many parts of her busy-mom life, including her home.

We moved into our house about 1 1/2 years ago. In some ways, it still feels like we're not quite moved in. The boxes are unpacked and all, but there are little things that bug me; for example, when we moved in we just stuffed things into the kitchen cupboards and I'm realizing that everything isn't where I really want it. Also, and this may just be a function of having kids, but I feel like our house is in a constant state of disorder. Ever since I was a kid I've left a "trail" behind me, so it's not as though I'm naturally a neatnik (which is too bad for Dan, because he is).

When our home is in order, which hasn't happened since Hunter was born, it feels beautiful and peaceful and...still. It's best features can shine through. The sun soaks through in the afternoon and washes the house in light. I can go about my usual stuff and know, secretly, that my linen closet is in perfect order, and that a stranger could come over and find any pertinent item with ease. The kids would have just enough toys and the parts of each one would be together (as opposed to now, where they're spread over the upstairs, downstairs, basement, and occasionally, the van.).

There's something cathartic about cleaning. This is my point. My mom used to say this. I'd ask her why in the world she'd spend her Saturday on picking up the house, vacuuming, doing yard work, whatever, and she'd say, "I don't exactly like doing it, but I do like the result." Dan and I have worked together to clean up the basement before, and we have revelations, and conversations, and a tidy basement to boot.

I'm taking the longest route ever to tell you this: I found this website, www.flylady.net, that can take someone like me and give me a system that isn't obsessive but promises to leave your house at least acceptable for unexpected company. (You know that feeling: I have spit-up on my shoulder from 3 hours ago, I nearly broke something tripping over that toy vacuum, and there are crushed Cheerios over every horizontal surface and WHO IS AT THE DOOR?). It's wonderful. Actually, I relied on it last year to help me get ready for the holidays, with at least some success.

Rest assured I am NOT writing this post for anyone but me. It isn't like I wasn't raised to keep a clean house - think hospital, museum, etc. - but I realize the value of it without being able to get it that way.

Hurry, Hurry!

Hunter just went to sleep. Aidan went home with Andrea. Helena's out with Aunt Christina. Dan's putting his work stuff away in the basement.

Now's my chance to BLOG!

Okay, okay, don't get all worked up. It has to be short.

Today has been an exhausting day, right down to my weary bones. As a youngster, I used to think having a house full of kids would be bliss beyond compare. At this point I'm seriously reconsidering this! Do parents of many children have some kind of energy pill I can't access?

I was tagged, like, 3 weeks ago, and have I done anything about it? Absofruitly not. But I've been thinking about it. I am going to give 6 things about myself that aren't things I like, or things I do, or things I want. I'll describe things I AM, right now.

1. I am curious. There is NEVER enough knowledge in the world for me. I've been downloading random podcasts to learn more about everything, from "NOVA" to BYU's Kennedy Center Lectures. Being curious is good, but when I'm really entranced in a book or something I have to force myself to return to the reality at hand.

2. I am too self-aware. Or self-conscious. Don't know which is a better descriptive term. But what I mean is, I'm too concerned with how I look, or what I said, or whatever. I'm more cautious now in my relationships that I used to be. I'm not exactly sure why this is. Seems like I had confidence to spare in high school (maybe I was just a snotty and obnoxious teenager. Sorry to all of those reading this who put up with me then as now!).

3. I am more creative and capable than I let on. Now, I'm not tooting my own horn here (I'm a violinist and pianist, no horns for me!), but I've discovered since I had kids that I have these resources WAY on down inside of me that come out at the most fortunate times. I can remember the words to complete songs to entertain the kids. Or I make up a song. I can think of activities to do for our Friends Preschool that actually make sense. I can create my own recipes (not that I usually feel like it.). I really can cook, no matter how much I joke about my inadequacies in that department. But I wish I had more of a handle on the "homemaking arts" like sewing, knitting, canning, decorating, etc. Thanks to Holly's recent Halloween efforts I know it's not too late!

4. I have a cheerful nature. Of course, now I have more to bog me down (as Dan puts it) because I have more responsibility, but fundamentally, still there. I am also compassionate and really pretty soft-hearted behind the wall of humor and stoicism. I want to get rich someday but not to live in one of those disgustingly hugh McMansions and wear flip-flops with rhinestones...more money means I can help the people I love and the people who actually need it. (To someone reading this in Kenya I already live in a McMansion, and hey, at least I have shoes!).

5. I have learned how to take on and fulfill responsibilities. I think dependability is one of the greatest characteristics of God. I've also learned how to ask for help (at least occasionally) and decline with grace (once in a while.). I am not perfect in this area yet, clearly.

6. I have high expectations of myself. This is both good and bad, obviously. While it inspires me to be better it also creates guilt when I fall short. Also, it translates into having higher expectations for other people. On the other hand, I can understand and accept that, both for me and for others, we have the person we ARE and then person we want to BE and they're rarely one and the same.

Thanks to Caity for tagging me. This was a good chance to think about myself, my favorite thing in the whole world to do! (Just kidding.).

I have one other thing to say: There are a few principles in life that will lead to righteous living. But the great thing is, there are an infinite number of practices that support those principles. Here's a good example: Families. Some people have 4 kids in rapid succession. Some people have 4 kids spread over 20 years. Doesn't matter - each family did what worked best, and all of them "multiplied and replenished the earth." They all lived the principle but practiced the gospel in a different way. Neat, huh?

I noticed tonight that Helena knows a lot of songs. We were driving in the car, listening to a song (by Queen), and she said, "Will you turn it up?" A minute later I hear, "Oh how I want to break freeee" coming from the backseat. And Hunter, who gets more adorable by the second, has started to say "Maaamaaa" when he's upset and giggle whenever I put the phone up to his ear. In fact, he's giggling a lot. It's an awfully cute giggle.

If You Love "The Office"

I think it's pretty obvious that I DO love "The Office," and I'm not ashamed to declare my feelings for a fictional television mockumentary.

If you love "The Office" too, sign this petition supporting the Writers' Guild of America. They are on strike, trying to achieve just and fair compensation for "new media," like the internet, Itunes, etc. The long and short of it is, they have stopped filming the show and will not continue for the duration of the strike. I don't know how much our signatures will make any difference but it can't hurt.

click here

Fall Fun

This year's Halloween was busy! Helena was a firefighter, Aidan (my nephew) was Elmo, and Hunter was a monkey. We had fun carving pumpkins (well, Dan carved them, let's be honest here) and went trick-or-treating twice: once at my mom's office, cubicle to cubicle, and then around the neighborhood and to our family's homes later on. Actually, Helena refused to trick-or-treat in our neighborhood because our across-the-street neighbor is entirely lacking in good sense and has an absolutely TERRIFYING Halloween display. It's loud, it's dark, it features a scary mask and strobe lights. Everybody was scared of him.

But this fall we've had lots of fun just being outside, too, in the leaves mostly. I had Tanner and Aidan over (along with Hunter) while Helena was at Caity's for preschool, and they had a blast. Then Saturday we were all outside, either raking leaves (me) or jumping in them (everybody else.) I think that sort of weather is gone. Today we had snow, rain, hail, and more or less constant wind at various times. In a way it's kind of exciting: time for sweaters, gloves, hot chocolate, blankets, and figuring out how to skimp on that home heating bill! This morning our power even went out. It was timely, in a way, because we'd just had a family home evening last night about Emergency Preparedness. Although the power went out at about 9am, and it was already light out, Helena's reaction was to tear downstairs and find a flashlight immediately. "Come on, Mom, we have to get the candles!" Maybe something sunk in last night!

Happy Halloween!

I don't have any deep thoughts to share BUT I have some pictures! As good, or better.

That "Autumnal Air"

I went for a walk tonight. It was much-needed, and very fulfilling. Some of my friends have blogged recently about fall, and the after-effects of a big storm (with accompanying loss of electricity); my post tonight will have a few of the same thoughts.

I have a fairly sensitive sense of smell (call the Department of Redundancy Department!), and I noticed right away my two favorite fall scents: crushed acrons and cozy fireplace smoke. I used to think that spring was my favorite time of year, but fall runs a close second. Last night there was a vicious wind (invigorating in its own way), but tonight was very calm and mild, without any tang of winter air or crispness to it. I ended up taking off my jacket about 10 minutes into it. The whole experience was unaccountably peaceful. Right around the corner from my house is a street that feels like it just grew there. I can imagine what it was like before the houses were built, but I think it's improved now: it still gives you the sense that you're in the middle of a forest, but there are lives being lived quietly among the trees and lake. Just lovely. I ended up walking for 45 minutes under a half moon and all of the bright stars that go with it, and it was completely perfect. (Incidentally, I love walking at night. It's dark, so you don't get hot from the sunshine, and everybody has the lights on inside their homes and you can see everything: light fixtures, decorations, what TV shows are on. Luckily, nothing creepy yet!)

On Thursday night, I finally went to see "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," at the "dollar theatre" that only charges $2.50 for a seat. This is priced right, because the seat you get will present a challenge if you are larger than, say, a 10-year-old who's been rather underfed. The $2.50 per seat price is made up for by the hugely expense concessions. My dinner that night was a medium soda and popcorn for $7.50. What? Anyway, the movie was completely and utterly fantastic (but if I hadn't read the book a few times, it might have confused me.). I was by myself and so I didn't have to answer questions from Dan, like "why is here there?" and "what's going on?" It's not like he's generally oblivious, he's just never read the books and the movies have to cram more and more stuff into the same amount of time, so it doesn't hurt to have a little help. I called home as I was leaving the theater and Dan told me the electricity was out. This was bad, because "The Office" was coming on and we couldn't record it. (Episodes are now available to watch online, free.). Additionally, the power had gone out just as Helena was making use of the potty. (He went to get a flashlight while she remained, in the dark, on the can.). This was all kind of an adventure, till the next morning when I was bathing by candlelight and planning what to get out of the fridge so I wouldn't open the door too much. I took the kids out for a walk - well, Helena rode her bike - and Fireman Steve from our local dept. was trolling around town in his fire truck. Helena put her fingers in her ears - she's learned that at parades, those suckers are loud - and Steve asked us how we were doing, if we had everything we needed, etc. It was just nice - really nice - to have him stop and talk with us. He flashed the lights for Helena but didn't blast the horn or anything, told us the power should be on around 1pm, and drove on.

After the whole thing was over, I realized that I am not prepared for any emergencies at all whatsoever. Also, I noticed that I have interior lights on during the day way too much. We have enough windows that if I just open the blinds or curtains all the way, even on a cloudy day we have enough light. I discovered that I need to get the laundry done immediately, always, particularly when it comes to towels and underwear. AND, I was glad that we still had water and gas power. After spending so much time watching "1900s House" and the like, and marveling over the deprivation that went on there, I see that for generations of time, having no electricity or limited resources was the order of the day. We're so fortunate. Unbelieveably so. I mean, Dan spends a lot of time figuring out shelving to store our stuff...because we have more than enough. Clearly, we need more of the RIGHT stuff for emergencies.

Whew! I'm exhausted all over again. That was a wicked long post. Sorry.

Oh, and Big Fat Revelation inserted here: I am focusing too much on the wrong things in life. The thing to focus on is not exercise, or "me" time and the lack of it, or housekeeping, or whatever - the thing to focus on is the Lord. EVERYTHING else comes from that. Isn't it so simple?

My First Day of Seminary

I had to share this! I remembered it while writing my previous post and almost fell out of my desk chair.

On my first day of early-morning seminary, my friend Tom (who I later learned was gay - go figure!) picked me up to give me a ride to the Atkisson's house, where our class was held. Everyone in the car was exhausted. Luckily, Tom's car had a few things to help us wake up: no muffler, one window that stubbornly refused to go up OR down, creating a lovely wind tunnel, and a stereo that could blast Dolly Parton's famous "9 to 5" at top volume. I'm not saying it brought the spirit into that nasty old 1970's Detroit beast, but it was invigorating.

I could really go on with the seminary memories: Me vomiting in my teacher's van, Jake Viraldo smashing pineapple muffins into the driveway, Mike throwing a book at Jake's head, "good-morning hugs," me breaking the glass on Tom's front door...

But that's good fodder for other posts!

Salvation Through Music

I don't literally believe that I will receive salvation in an ultimate sense from music. Just wanted to make that clear.

However, on a more earthly, temporal level, it seems like music is sometimes the only thing that keeps me from a long-term stay at Northwoods (the local mental hospital. Incidentally, I've been there several times to visit a friend, and it's a pretty creepy place. Also badly in need of redecoration, particularly in the "lock-down" unit. Let's get some more stylish seat-free toilets!).

The reason I'm blogging tonight is because I feel guilty. Everybody's blogs that I read regularly have been updated (some with pictures! Snazzy!) and mine has been sitting here for who KNOWS how long. Since I have nothing of any interest or importance to say, and no new pictures to post (have to get them off of the camera, I guess) I'll just post the names of some good DVDs I've gotten from the library lately. Check them out!

1900 House
1940s House
Manor House (as you surmised, these are all from the same series. They are very absorbing - reality tv for PBS fans)
Jonestown (CREEPY! Don't watch it, Caity!)
China From the Inside
The Living Weapon (American Experience series)

Also, don't miss "The Hudsucker Proxy." You'll be sorry! And if you haven't seen "Steel Magnolias" yet, well, I think that's just un-American.

I'm off to bed. Deep down I'm a night person but the kids (read: Hunter) are forcing me to be an "early-morning" person. I did early-morning seminary for four years...what happened?

"The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize!"

Negative Nellie!

Seems like all of my posts lately have been negative, which doesn't really reflect my state of mind. I received some wonderful counsel from Heavenly Father this weekend, including but also independent of General Conference, and the weather has FINALLY turned to autumn, which thrills me to no end. Plus, I have a kind and generous family who are always willing to help (thanks Caity, Christina, David, Andrea, Mom, Dan!).

But today was kind of bad. Not all bad, just parts. Helena's really suffering from having Aidan here. Most of it is subconscious, I think, but it's a combination of regression and anger that she doesn't really understand. On top of that, she's been stammering more, I think as a result of the increased stress around here. Now, it's only been a week and a half since our new schedule's set in, but of course I'm worried and impatient and compulsive about everything. However, she has been helpful, sweet, and loving at the same time. Example: This morning Hunter tried to eat a bouncy ball (the kind you buy for a quarter from the machines at the grocery store.). Helena came running to me: "Hunter's trying to eat that ball!" I scooped it out of his mouth and thanked Helena for (more or less) saving his life. She patted me on the shoulder and said, "I'm your big helper, Mom." Indeed! (Then we did a big childproofing cleanup.)

I have a plan for what to do (thanks to prayer!) but wish I could feel calm emotionally and mentally about everything. My mom said my grandma dealt with regression (upon the birth of a new sibling, or when Grandma's parents moved in with them) by just ignoring it, and it went away. Unfortunately, now you feel like a jerk if you don't get super-early intervention for everything!

Anyway - send me some love, everybody! Who doesn't need it?

And in the middle of all of this, I feel like my problems are dwarfed by the problems my good friend is dealing with. Now that is someone who truly needs prayer.

Here's a line from an Alison Krauss song that has nothing to do with anything, but I think it's beautifully descriptive:
"We'll rise above the scarlet tide that trickles down from the mountain and separates the widow from the bride."

On the Up Side...

Two pictures that I love of two people I love most:

Prayer

I've noticed that I've been asking a lot of questions from my Loyal Readership on this blog (which is also my personal journal...go figure, I guess my life has no secrets!). I have a problem - a not small one, but still not something I want to hash out on this blog - and I want to pray about it. I have already prayed about it in the past. The trouble is, everything you read says you should try to figure it out "in your mind and in your heart" before you go to the Lord. Do I have to have it figured out, then ask Heavenly Father if I'm on the right track? Because my problem is SO not figured out. I've got no idea what to do about it.

So do I just pray anyway? And just keep praying until I get some inspiration? HELP!

Also, things have been pretty hectic with having three kids, but truthfully it's my own (Helena) that's the hardest. She's obstinate about things and starting to regress, doing lots of things just for the attention, good or bad. Oh dear. I keep saying "it's just an adjustment period" but I'd like to have a date for when the adjustment will be complete! Bless her, she has so many good qualitities, but I feel myself focusing on the bad.

Dan has this quote on a post-it note on his computer screen: "Be the change you want to be." - Gandhi

Good advice.

Oh, My Aching Head

Nice title. Oh well - my creativity level is somewhere in the 0th percentile.

Sorry to be sort of a downer, but I'm having a terrible night. I'm not feeling well (headache and nausea), obviously up too late, worried and stressed about some upcoming stuff. Still, I think that I have a lot to be grateful for, and although I've done this little exercise before, I'm going to go through it again, in list form.

What I'm So Grateful For:

Our new mattress/bed
Hunter's good nature
Helena's occasional willingness to help and constant concern for me
Dan's efforts at being understanding and his success at bringing calmness to my brain
The DIS Unplugged Podcast
My blogging friends
Washer/dryer
"The Office"
The ability to play the piano
The gospel...the gospel...the gospel (how does anyone function without this most important component?)
Pithy insights and revelations about the small stuff
My grandparents (who will soon get a big, fat, post of their own), who are preparing my mobile home in heaven!
Music

Now I'm off to sleep...and here's the song running through my head:

"Surrender, surrender, but don't give yourself away!"

What's your favorite Cheap Trick song?

Port Orleans Riverside

I'm borrowing some pictures I found on a Disney-devoted site (and if you think I'm nuts, you should check out THESE people!). They are of the resort that we'll be staying at on our next trip to The World. It's a beautiful place, and you know what? I could really care less that it's not "real." It's themed around the Old South - both the genteel plantations and the Louisiana bayou. The best part about this is that it doesn't include some of the features the "real" versions of these places have, like alligators, enormous insects, slightly crazy Cajuns (just kidding, just kidding!). I'm not going to rant about why WDW is so important to me, because I've done it before on this blog, but maybe a few pictures will help my Loyal Following see that it is, at least, really beautiful.

Not Enough Words

I love my children. Who knew I would ever have a little girl and little boy who were so wonderful? I never expected to be cheering my 3 year old daughter on as she wrapped up her 100-piece Strawberry Shortcake puzzle, congratulating her on writing her first "N," almost crying when she says "Mom, I love you." I didn't think I'd ever actually try to hit the one-million-kisses mark with my baby boy, or be so charmed by his constant, gummy smiles, or "waste" 20 minutes watching him sleep. I had no idea that any earthly thing could make me so happy, it could just break my heart, but my kids do it every day. Don't get me wrong - sometimes it's hard, sometimes they push me to my Patience Limit, but it lasts for a few minutes and I'm back to Dorkdom. So, dear reader (is anyone reading this???), exercise forgiveness when I brag about them or act like they're the best and only kids on earth. It's just brief and momentary insanity that, hopefully, will last just a bit longer.

Squinting

That's a one-word description of what I'm doing right now. Dan took away the 22-inch monitor I used to use with this laptop (for work purposes) and I am now squinting at a 15 inch?? laptop monitor. Let's take a moment to be grateful for a nice laptop.

I'm going to attempt, once again, to add pictures to my blog. I'm not that technologically adept (yeah, big surprise, I know!). Big Dan just bought a new digital camera, bringing us into the new millenium. We're excited to get it in the mail next week. Maybe soon I'll have some GOOD pictures! In the meantime, here are some sweet ones of a little photo session we tried to get in with Helena and Hunter. Also featured is an (almost indecent) photo of Hunter bathing in his favorite place - the deep side of the kitchen sink.

Reality TV and Me

I am admitting it now...apparently, I am a Reality TV fan. I watch "The Biggest Loser," "Survivorman," "Lockup," you name it. I don't actually schedule my life around these programs but I eat them up when they're on. (Right now I'm blogging while watching "Lockup." Actually, a guy just made an excellent point: "In here, you're forced to be still and think about what you want the rest of your life to look like." In a way, it would be nice for all of us to have that. But not in jail.)

I've mentioned this blog before but I'm going to put a link here, because it's been entertaining and occasionally valuable to me. It's called The Simple Dollar, written by a youngish guy, married with two young kids and living in Iowa. It includes great articles and links to other useful personal finance blogs.

http://www.thesimpledollar.com/

Hope that works.

I also have to ask a big, fat, personal question of the Blogosphere. Answer as you wish, or ignore it completely! You choose.

How do you clothe your kids? I'm wondering how everybody affords this. If I dressed my kids in whatever I liked, wherever I wanted to shop, we'd be broke and in debt. I shop good consignment stores, sales, etc. Because Helena's grown so fast, we've bought 6 years worth of clothes in 3 years (she wears a 6 or 6X). It's expensive! I think if I were REALLY diligent I could get more at yard sales but I don't have the time for it, and now it's past that season. SO, any tips would be appreciated.

"If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got."

Fat March

My blog has become a confessional. It's like being on "Real World" without anyone watching!

I love "Fat March." I came into this ABC reality show about 3 weeks after it started but I caught up with the free online episodes. I can't IMAGINE walking so many miles. I wonder what it would be like to do something like that...I've been walking a lot lately, under the guise of "training" for WDW (where the average person walks between 5 and 7 miles a day.) It's motivating, don't get me wrong, but the Fat March people get HARD CASH for walking. I really admire them all (well, those who didn't get voted off and are still walking) for pushing themselves so far.

Tonight I went grocery shopping. Dan and I have decided to try the cash "envelope system" to have more control over our money. I busted it all out - returned the pop cans, etc. I was a serious Domestic Diva today. Countless loads of laundry, a nice long walk (in the rain!), baked two loaves of bread (thank you, bread machine), played with the kids, did puzzles with Helena, warmed up those leftovers (okay, not so impressive). Too bad every day isn't so fantabulous.

Does anybody have a treadmill? How much did it cost (personal but necessary question)? What brand/model would you recommend? Once the bad weather comes I'd still like to be able to walk without bad weather preventing me. To me this would be a better way to spend money (rather than a gym membership) because I could do it any time, any day, without packing up the kids, having to "look good," etc. Listening to my Disney podcast, I will walk forever! (It is so stupid that THAT is what motivates me!)

One last thought: Today I ran the water from the tap until it was hot, then washed my hands with my nicely scented anti-bacterial soap, and thought "What a CUSHY, blessed life I live!" It's crazy that we have too much food, nice chairs and couches to sit in, deluxe beds to sleep on, instant contact to our friends and community through excellent communications systems (including the internet), instant access to information, a beautiful place to live, the gospel truths, a much-loved family. It's funny how those little experiences bring gratitude bubbles to my mind.

Whew!

Glad I read that last post again...it's been a bit of a hard day for me, I'm not going to lie. Luckily I got in touch with a long-lost friend who brightened it considerably. Georgia has been my friend since about 1998. She joined the LDS Church and was a great friend of mine. Six years ago she had two beautiful twin boys, and about 1 1/2 years ago she moved away. She now lives in Arizona and is, to my benefit, happy to spend hours on the telephone acting as Psychologist for me. I really miss her. We had a blast together. I don't think I'll ever have so many friends that I can forget about them.

Tomorrow is Labor Day. I'm not exactly sure what this holiday celebrates - the fact that America's working population toils tirelessly to support their families and grow our economy? - but I hereby dedicate it to every woman who has ever endured labor. As in, pregnancy and birth labor. This is what we should REALLY have a holiday for. Mother's Day is really to honor the mothering portion of a woman's life. Labor Day is JUST for the labor, the pain, the screaming, the "holy-crap-am-I-dying" feeling that you ladies out there can relate to. We deserve at least two days for multiplying and replenishing the earth, and I'm not opposed to adding a "Breastfeeding Day" or a "Single-Moms" day. This is, naturally, in addition to our birthdays, when we should be brought flowers and chocolates, and have our little children whisked away to happy places they love while we gorge on unhealthy foods and watch movies like "Beaches" and "Steel Magnolias," "Pillow Talk" and "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood."

Because I have nothing better to post I will list a few things on my iPod I've been listening to recently:

The DIS Unplugged Podcast
Classic BYU Speeches
Ben Folds - Songs For Silverman
Tiny Dancer - Elton John
Science Fiction and the Gospel - Hugh Nibley
Big Girl (You Are Beautiful) - MIKA
Mr. Wendal - Arrested Development (random!)
This Woman's Work - Kate Bush
Dear Someone - Gillian Welch
Stolen - Dashboard Confessional
Take Me Home - Phil Collins
In This Heart - Sinead O'Connor

So, I'm not a music snob, I guess (what self-respecting music snob listens to Phil Collins, for crying out loud) but there you go. You'd probably forgotten (happily) about Arrested Development!

I have a big Walt Disney World Countdown Calendar and guess what? Only 151 more days! Time to start planning! :)

Motherhood

I don't have much to say, so I'll insert a portion of a talk I read by Teresa Santiago, given at a BYU Women's Conference, called "Get Thee Behind Me: Thwarting Latter-day Deceits." Excellent talk, especially this part:

"Satan's Deceit #5: Women's bodies are to be admired for their youth and beauty...Whenever we look in the mirror, we are reminded of what we are not. Satan would have it just that way. He would have us think that because our bodies do not look a certain, supposedly desirable, way, they are not worth having at all. Thus, we enter into a war with our bodies, hating the very tabernacle our Father has given us, despising the flesh. If Satan can get us to fixate on our bodies, either in vanity or self-loathing, then he has caused us to misunderstand completely the role our bodies play in our salvation."

"I was pregnant all one summer. I spent my time bobbing in the deep end of Deseret Towers' pool watching the women go by. I wondered why the women who had contributed the most to our society seemed to feel the least confident. Why did they cover their bodies as if in shame, disrobing only to plunge quickly down, their shoulders barely emerging above the waterline as they stood watching their children swim? Why did the freshman Deseret Towers' residents, young women who knew nothing of what breasts and hips and wombs are meant to do, rule, queens of the roost? In a better world, in a kinder, more saintly world, a mother's body would be kindly regarded, with respect and honor for what she has given, for what she has done. I am learning that a woman who mothers well gives all she has: body parts, internal organs, limbs. Some parts are temporarily donated; others, irreparably altered; most effects are permanent. And, if she lets this mothering sink into the marrow of her bones, if she allows the job of nurturing to wrestle with her spirit, a woman's soul is wrought in the image of God."

After describing the painfully premature labor and death of her third child (born with serious malformations), she says the following:

"Could I have broken my heart to the will of the Lord another way? Would I have come so heavy laden and willingly to the Savior's yoke?...I cannot help but think, as I remember those births, that this human body, also can make us most divine - that the peculiar pains of a woman's flesh teach her exquisitely, intimately. What they teach she cannot know beforehand or even know that she needs to know...Time writes its messages on all of us. Our very bodies have become our book of life, 'an account of our obedience or disobedience written in our bodies.' To what have we been obedient? To the purpose for which we were made: to provide a body and a safe haven for the spirits entrusted to our care. If we mother well, we wear out our lives bringing to pass the lives of others. Of the physical fruits - our wider hips, our sagging breasts, our flatter feet, and rounder buttocks - we need not be so ashamed."

David reminds me often that I will "be saved in my childbearing." After reading this talk, I think it means I'll finally learn - probably after a lifetime - the lesson of complete selflessness, the lesson of total forgiveness, the lesson of charity and unconditional love. Like Sister Santiago said, before I had children I didn't even know I needed to learn these things. Maybe all mothers need to be reminded of the true divinity of this calling from which we will never be released.

Thanks to all of you for being mothers I can emulate, and for giving all you have to your families.

No Regrets

Tonight I heard that a good friend's father passed away. I can't imagine what losing my parents will be like. Actually, I could start to imagine it but it's too painful so I am stopping right now. I feel like there's nothing I can do, except make cookies (which are baking as I type!) and maybe bring over some snack foods for her to put out for her out-of-town guests. The upside is I get to see her son and his family (her son's my age), who live in San Diego and aren't usually able to visit very often. I remain convinced that the way to overcome the fear of death (which is ubiquitous, no matter what you say) is to live a life with no regrets. Could someone tell me how that's done? :)

Also, today Hunter is 7 months old. It's hard to believe it's gone by so fast. I worry about my little guy, though, because although he's been taking Zantac for about two weeks, he threw up an INCREDIBLE amount of, well, stuff today. About 1/2 a cup, which is all his poor tummy can hold, I'm sure. He has a dr. appt. Friday and maybe he won't have to go through too many horrible tests. He's just pure joy, that sweet boy - his smile could melt a thousand hearts. He has his little games and conversations and always, that beautiful grin.

A wicked storm blew through N.M. tonight. Lots of thunder and lightning, rain coming down in sheets, hurricane wind (thank goodness we don't have hurricanes here!). Of course, Helena was terrified. (She comes by it honestly...my great-grandmother used to hide under the covers with a bottle of Scotch during thunderstorms.) But she pretended to be excited, like her Daddy, and tried (bless her heart!) to be brave. It WAS really loud and startling, and the power cut off for a minute. Sometimes I think Helena's intelligence has grown faster than her emotions, and I have to remind myself she's just three, after all. This morning we (myself and the kids) took a bike ride, with Helena riding her industrial-strength tricycle, and we rode a LONG ways - half a mile? three-quarters? - and she didn't complain a bit. The only thing is, I had to go REALLY slow. Like, dead turtle slow. The kids were happy, and so was I.

Oh, and big thrill for me - our garden has some ginormous tomatoes on it, and big fat green peppers that look "grocery store" good. (Not Aldi's - their produce is terrifying.) I can't believe it. Must be that Square Foot Gardening!

"Death is no more than passing from one room to another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see." - Helen Keller

Smoke and Mirrors

Today I had a list of things to do. I got about half of them done. All things considered, that's not so bad, especially as I had Aidan over this afternoon until about 7pm and Dan didn't get home until 8pm. The really urgent stuff is done and the rest of the list will just have to be pushed out until tomorrow.

Dan and I had a budget talk this weekend. Happily, it turns out we can actually live on less than we make if we're responsible. It's funny, but Dave Ramsey's right when he says "Once you do a budget, you'll feel like you're getting a raise."

I wanted to blog tonight about my 10 year class reunion. It was this past Saturday evening at Hobo's Tavern here in Muskegon. I went shopping and purchased some new clothes - ones that I actually like and would wear, nothing contrived - and we packed the kids up and sent them to Ga-ga's. This was Hunter's first time staying at Ga-ga's, and he was a little fussy, sadly. Still, she might take him again. :)

Anyway, I saw some of my classmates - probably about 20 out of the 48 people I graduated with - and heard about what most of the rest were up to. I caught up with a few of the ones I was closest to, and Dan was able to talk with his friend Matt, who he used to work with and who I (obviously) graduated with. We shared a few memories as a group. All in all, it was a fun evening.

I was really surprised by two things: First, I was really comfortable. I didn't feel unattractive or pudgy, didn't "try too hard" to make conversation, I was outgoing and talked to almost everyone (I was like that in H.S. too), and didn't feel uncomfortable at all. I mention that because in H.S. I was always questioning myself, until about my senior year when I finally said "to heck with it" and was just the friendliest, happiest person and didn't care what others thought of me. I was only concerned with doing what I should be and becoming what I should be. (I've almost reverted back to the self-conscious me, really).

Second, and this was absolutely astonishing, I was SHOCKED by how many people were SMOKING! I expected the drinking, you know, as we were at a bar and it was the #1 activity in H.S. But geez, I had no idea so many people were smokers. This included parents, professionals, VERY intelligent people with successful careers and great education, blah blah blah. But they weren't smart enough to realize that smoking is one of the worst things you can do to your body. My friend Jen and I speculated that maybe they were just social smokers - you know, people who only smoke when they go out to bars and drink. I don't know how common that is (it doesn't come up in my LDS circles.) So, I was disgusted at that. Moreover, it started to make me nauseous and I had to wash my hair 4 separate times to get the stank out. My clothes had to be washed twice with every kind of laundry additive I had available. It very much changed my opinion of everybody, not in a judgemental way, just in an amazed "are you kidding?" way.

One other thing I wanted to post was the Big News (for the N.M. ward people, anyway): Sharon Wilson and Jason Gifford are engaged! I'm so happy for them I could burst. I used to BABYSIT Sharon, for crying out loud! And I've been pulling for Jason ever since he joined the church. They both strike me as determined, focused people, but it's so SWEET to see how much they love each other. Why did Jason decide to ask her yesterday? Because when he went to the temple he felt inspired that THIS was the girl, THIS was the time. Dan and I both just want the best for those two. They deserve it. It kind of reminds me of when Dan and I were engaged. Good times, good times. (I did suggest that he "re-do" his proposal, maybe around our 10th anniversary, b/c it ended up being a little...different than he planned. Also, a surprise 2nd honeymoon to WDW wouldn't be out of order, I'm sure.)

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney

Families Are Forever

As I've said before, this blog primarily acts as a surrogate journal for me, so I apologize in advance for the writings contained within if they sometimes seem pointless, confusing, or irrelevant. Reading my friends' blogs has inspired me to write about one of my favorite topics: Family.

The extended family that I am most familiar with is my mother's side. My dad's family lived mostly in Utah, Idaho, and Washington, and my mother's family lived in Michigan, Chicago, and one branch in Utah, so I was much closer to them. My mom's brother, Doug, married after his mission and he and his wife moved to UT to raise their family. Doug's always been one of my favorite uncles, and he's tried to visit here as much as possible on a somewhat limited income. His past few visits have been sad ones, associated with funerals of his mother and brother, but always welcome. It was especially fun to have he and Tricia visit with the kids - my "Utah cousins." Sometimes, just one of the cousins would come out for a summer when I was a kid and stay with Grandma for a month or two. Well, since Grandma's not here anymore, Stacie, my youngest Utah cousin (who's about 5 years younger than me) came out to visit for this past week and stayed with Aunt Christina.

Stace and I have always been really good friends. She is funny, easygoing, open, and is generous enough to say that any activity we can think of for her is fantastic. While she was here we went to the beach a couple of times (with the aunts, kids, etc.) and had some whole-family cook-outs. But the BEST visits we had were our VERY late-night walks. I drove over to Christina's after the kids were in bed, and we walked the neighborhood till 1 or 2 in the morning. (Thank goodness N.M. is safe.) We shared all the "family secrets" from both sides, talked about marriage and kids (she's still single), jobs, goals, church, gospel topics, and agreed that Lake Michigan is the best place to be on earth.

There's something about family, isn't there? Something that makes friendships that are so deep and lasting, even between two people (like Stace and I) who really don't see each other much, or communicate regularly. I wish I could know all of my family, even the extra-extended parts, more often. After all, we all only have a limited amount of time on this earth and I have so many cousins, if I don't get started now, I'll lose the opportunity (at least for now).

"I don't care how poor a man is, if he's got family, he's rich."

My beautiful children

Helena: She's starting to grow up. In particular, she's starting to have a life of her own, independent of me. For example, she spends every Friday night at Ga-ga's, and they do all kinds of things together. Also, tonight she and Dan are camping out in a tent in our backyard. She's so excited I'll be surprised if she ever sleeps! (He's such a wonderful dad, by the way. My cousin Stacie's here visiting and she told me he was the sweetest dad she'd ever seen.) She has an imagination, and an imaginary world, and I'm afraid of that time in the not-too-distant future when I'll be a tangential part of her existence and her friends will be everything. But she's absolutely the best: smart, funny, beautiful, happy, and becoming easier to "reason" with every day. I love her so much.

Hunter: He's so good-natured, but lately has become more fussy, either because he's teething or due to his newly-diagnosed acid reflux. I'm a bit scared of that. I took him to the doctor because he spits up every single time he eats, and sometimes it's a huge amount. It doesn't seem to hurt him but he'd lost 10 ounces since his last visit 10 days before. That isn't right. Tomorrow I think I'll ask Dan to give him a blessing. I know this is pretty common and everything but I still worry about him. He has the funniest way of playing games. My favorite is the one where he pulls my face in and puts my nose squarely in his mouth, then he oohs and ahhs around it. That baby melts my heart, I'll tell you what. I love him so much.

I was thinking about the Duggar family today, the one with 16 kids? And I thought, "Man, doesn't that overwhelm the mom completely? And what does she feel when a new baby comes along?" I realized that although her life might be chaotic she ALWAYS has more love in her heart for more kids. In the "baby afterglow" days, shortly after both Helena and Hunter's births, I wished I could have 10 more. My sanity wouldn't support it very well but I would have plenty of love for them.

Other news: Our Square Foot Garden has about 30 tomatoes growing in it (what will I do with them? Do I have to learn how to can?); Dan's almost done with the Well of Doom; I am happier every day that we get closer to our Disney World trip; I love Lake Michigan; I'm so glad that Jason Gifford is home and that he and Sharon came over to visit the other day; "The Johnstown Flood" by David McCullough is an excellent book.

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer and wish we didn't." - Erica Jong

A Fabulous Sunday

We made reservations today for our February 2008 trip. What words are there to describe how happy I am? Why even try? Imagine your happiest past memory...it's that feeling. And I'm not even there yet.

Today was a GOOD day at church (I posted not too long ago about one of those not-so-good Sundays). My heart was full to bursting, not because I wasn't busy or didn't have a million things to do. I think I just decided it would be a good day, and the Lord made up the difference. We didn't have many people there today but that most important of all, the Spirit, was there and that was enough.

I had some unexpected and very lovely gifts for Hunter (one from my great-aunt Lucille, the other from my third cousin once removed, Joan, in England) that I have yet to write thank-you notes for. I plan on writing letters, actually, and asking questions and getting some genealogical information from them while simultaneously expressing my gratitude for some snazzy clothes for H.D.L.

I received a couple of insights (inspirations?) at church today. First, I realized that living gospel principles makes life easier in a simple, but miraculous way. Two examples:

1. Paying tithing. Even if your income doesn't change, once you start paying tithing, your budget magically works and there's enough to go around. Much different from when you don't pay tithing and you never seem to be able to meet your needs.
2. Prayer, scripture study, feeling the Lord's love daily: I didn't have a simple name for this. But it's that gospel living that, when done every day, seems to make your time stretch to allow you to fulfill all of your duties, makes you more cheery, seems to help your kids be better-behaved and more loveable, inspires you to be more of service (and gives you the time to do it!). Again, much different from when we ignore that part of our lives and then proceed to stumble through our days, busy but never getting anything done and feeling more and more selfish with ourselves and our time.
3. An investigator visiting our ward today (for the second time) said that she learned that love isn't worth much until you give it away. Love IS a verb.

Last week? Or the week before? I went to dinner with a couple of friends. Food was fantastic, I recommend the Hearthstone to all of my Muskegon County friends. Anyway, our server received a nice, healthy tip from yours truly because he proclaimed The Smiths to be the Best Band to Come Out of the Eighties. Their music was beautiful; I just wish it was a little more uplifting. It tends to be a bit on the depressing side. "Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want" is just lovely.

"As Dumbledore explains, the real master of Death accepts that he must die, and that there are much worse things in the land of the living." - J.K. Rowling

One of those Oprah Moments

I had an Ah-Ha! moment today. I realized...drumroll...that I am an Emotional Eater. But I also don't believe in Labels. I mean, aren't emotions tied into everyone's eating? Some people eat more when they're upset or stressed, some people stop eating...I wish I were category 2, but hey. I read an interesting statistic (care of my new Chiropractor): The state ranked number 1 for deaths from cardiovascular disease is Washington, D.C. (not strictly a state). The state ranked lowest in that same category? Hawaii. Don't tell me heart disease doesn't come from stress. Hawaiians eat roasted pigs and spam and stuff, right, so it isn't all because of a poi-based diet.

The last couple of weeks have been outrageously, uncomfortably busy for me. The hardest part about them was the recent move of a good friend. She and her family are moving because of a great job opportunity for her husband, and I know they'll be really happy, but it's still saddening to me. I'm also feeling a little overwhelmed with my new church calling, which requires a lot of travel and thus lots of time away from my family. My grandparents served in multiple callings in the old Great Lakes Mission and Lansing Stake, and they did a lot more driving than I ever will! I'm not really complaining - but it feels like some days Dan and I are just "tag-teaming" our kids and not spending time as a family together.

Today it is, let us say, 300 degrees outside. I am afraid to leave the house lest I turn into a Beth Puddle. Once again I sing the praises of whatever unsung hero invented air conditioning. I would rate it above television, chocolate-covered pretzels, and the artificial heart in terms of everyday usefulness. (That list would change dramatically if I lived in Washington, D.C.).

Here's a little zinger for you to consider (you've heard it before): We are not human beings have spiritual experiences, we are spiritual beings having human experiences.