An Adams for a Parent

The first two quotes are from Abigail Adams to her son, John Quincy Adams, who later became the sixth President of the United States. They were written to him at two separate times in his life: first, when he was about ten years old and preparing to cross the Atlantic on a diplomatic mission with his father; second, after he had returned from that first trip and an additional one where he served as personal secretary to the U.S. Ambassador to Russia.

"These are the times in which genius would wish to live. It is not in the still calm of life or the repose of a pacific station that great characters are formed. The habits of a vigorous mind are formed in contending with difficulties. Great necessities call out great virtues. When a mind is raised and animated by scenes that engage the heart, then those qualities which would otherwise lay dormant wake into life and form the character of the hero and the statesman."

"If you are conscious to yourself that you possess more knowledge upon some subjects than others of your standing, reflect that you have had greater opportunities of seeing the world and obtaining knowledge of mankind than any of your contemporaries. That you have never wanted a book, but it has been supplied to you. That your whole time has been spent in the company of men of literature and science. How unpardonable would it have been in you to have turned out a blockhead."

This quote comes from John Adams (later second President of the United States) to his daughter, Nabby.


"Daughter! Get you an honest man for a husband, and keep him honest. No matter whether he is rich, provided he be independent. Regard the honor and moral character of the man more than all other circumstances. Think of no other greatness but that of the soul, no other riches but those of the heart. An honest, sensible, humane man, above all the littleness of vanity and extravagances of imagination, laboring to do good rather than be rich, to be useful rather than make a show, living in modest simplicity clearly within his means and free from debts and obligations, is really the most respectable man in society, makes himself and all about him most happy."

Excellent advice, and well put.

An American Tune

I'm always grateful for the Sabbath. After the first couple of hectic, wake-up-and-get-everyone-ready hours, I slow down and enjoy the one day during the week where we've actually been commanded to rest and think on spiritual things. Today was like that. Church was great (wonderful lesson Megan!), it's always good to see my church family, who I really do love, and the weather was quintessentially autumnal. The drive home was divine. I laid down while everyone else was napping and read for a little while, then made an apple pie. And while I did that, I listened to one of the finest songs I think I've ever heard.

American Tune

Many's the time I've been mistaken,
and many times confused
And I've often felt forsaken,
and certainly misused.
But it's all right, it's all right,
I'm just weary to my bones
Still, you don't expect to be
bright and bon vivant
So far away from home,
so far away from home.


I don't know a soul who's not been battered
Don't have a friend who feels at ease
Don't know a dream that's not been shattered
Or driven to its knees.
But it's all right, all right,
We've lived so well so long
Still, when I think of the road we're traveling on,
I wonder what went wrong,
I can't help it
I wonder what went wrong.

And I dreamed I was flying.
I dreamed my soul rose unexpectedly,
and looking back down on me,
smiled reassuringly,
and I dreamed I was dying.
And far above my eyes could clearly see
The Statue of Liberty,
drifting away to sea
And I dreamed I was flying.

We come on a ship we call the Mayflower,
We come on a ship that sailed the moon
We come at the age's most uncertain hour
And sing the American tune
But it's all right, it's all right
You can't be forever blessed
Still, tomorrow's gonna be another working day
And I'm trying to get some rest,
That's all, I'm trying to get some rest.


Here's the iTunes link to my favorite version from "The Concert in Central Park" (one of the few experiences I'd time travel for.)

Click here

Take Your Own Advice, Beth

I'm not feeling very happy today. Plenty of reasons...

But here's the thing: My reasons to be happy more than outweigh my reasons to be depressed.

I taught a lesson today in Young Women, focusing mostly on being positive and how that can lead to success. Perhaps I should take some of my own advice?? Because gratitude puts us in a more positive frame of mind, let's examine some reasons to be happy.

I'm grateful because:

1. My cousins from Utah visited this summer. We don't get to see each other nearly as much as I'd like, but that makes me all the happier when we are together.

2. We have a new cat, named Bobby Handsome (Helena's choice), who is very loving and is fitting in well.

3. Helena started kindergarten and loves it! Except the Pledge of Allegiance.

4. When Hunter talks on the phone and is ready to finish his conversation, he doesn't say "bye" or "I love you" - he kisses the phone and then hugs it, with a big grunt to emphasize the effort he's putting into that hug.

5. Our attic is nearly completed. Thankfully, it's completed enough that there's no more noise, and not too much dust. It still has a little more work before it's really usable space. But there's so much potential!

6. Helena learned how to ride her two-wheeled bike overnight and loves to take extra-long bike rides.

7. Hunter also got his first "bike," a plastic, toddler-sized deal. It has pedals, however, and he figured out how to ride it immediately.

8. We've decided to go to Walt Disney World just after the Thanksgiving holiday, when Christmas will already be in full swing at the resort. We're excited to go one more time before...



9. The thing I'm happiest about: We're having a baby! He or she is due Feb. 24. Better than anything else was being able to feel AND see the baby kick yesterday. We'll find out if we should expect a boy or a girl on Oct. 12. I'm just hoping for a healthy baby, with an easy disposition :)

I'm a Believer

In these...





And this...



I do like to have a clean house, but I need some help staying organized, especially for tasks outside of the regular daily drudgery (like dishes and laundry.) This helps. Plus, it goes with my grandmother's saying: "Better pretty than ugly." Also, "Soap is cheap." This system is really kind of cute! I chose pink and green, but there are other flavors. Here's a link to the Spring Clean, Year 'Round site:

Spring Clean Year 'Round

The Poor Abused Apostrophe

I feel that it is time for me to declare my allegiance to the correct use of the apostrophe. I've had enough of seeing incorrect usage on billboards, newspaper advertisements, and even blog posts written by schoolteachers and homeschooling moms. Thus, I have thoughtfully included this short, but informative, explanation of how, when, and where to use Mr. Apostrophe.

Long live punctuation!


Rule 1. Use the apostrophe with contractions. The apostrophe is always placed at the
spot where the letter(s) has been removed.

Examples: don't, isn't
You're right.
She's a great teacher.

Rule 2. Use the apostrophe to show possession. Place the apostrophe before the s to show singular possession.

Examples: one boy's hat
one woman's hat
one actress's hat
one child's hat
Ms. Chang's house
NOTE: Although names ending in s or an s sound are not required to have the second s added in possessive form, it is preferred.
Mr. Jones's golf clubs
Texas's weather
Ms. Straus's daughter
Jose Sanchez's artwork
Dr. Hastings's appointment (name is Hastings)
Mrs. Lees's books (name is Lees)

Rule 3. Use the apostrophe where the noun that should follow is implied.

Example: This was his father's, not his, jacket.


Rule 4. To show plural possession, make the noun plural first. Then immediately use the apostrophe.

Examples: two boys' hats
two women's hats
two actresses' hats
two children's hats
the Changs' house
the Joneses' golf clubs
the Strauses' daughter
the Sanchezes' artwork
the Hastingses' appointment
the Leeses' books

Rule 5. Do not use an apostrophe for the plural of a name.

Examples: We visited the Sanchezes in Los Angeles.
The Changs have two cats and a dog.

Rule 6. With a singular compound noun, show possession with 's at the end of the word.

Example: my mother-in-law's hat

Rule 7. If the compound noun is plural, form the plural first and then
use the apostrophe.

Example: my two brothers-in-law's hats

Rule 8. Use the apostrophe and s after the second name only if two people possess the same item.

Examples: Cesar and Maribel's home is constructed of redwood.
Cesar's and Maribel's job contracts will be renewed next year.
(Indicates separate ownership.)
Cesar and Maribel's job contracts will be renewed next year.
(Indicates joint ownership of more than one contract.)

Rule 9. Never use an apostrophe with possessive pronouns: his, hers, its, theirs, ours, yours, whose. They already show possession so they do not require an apostrophe.

Examples:

Correct: This book is hers, not yours.
Incorrect: Sincerely your's.

Rule 10. The only time an apostrophe is used for it's is when it is a contraction for it is or it has.

Examples: It's a nice day.
It's your right to refuse the invitation.
It's been great getting to know you.

Rule 11. The plurals for capital letters and numbers used as nouns are not formed with apostrophes.

Examples: She consulted with three M.D.s.
BUT
She went to three M.D.s' offices.
(The apostrophe is needed here to show plural possessive.)
She learned her ABCs.
the 1990s not the 1990's
the '90s or the mid-'70s not the '90's or the mid-'70's
She learned her times tables for 6s and 7s.
Exception: Use apostrophes with capital letters and numbers when the meaning would be unclear otherwise.
Examples: Please dot your i's.
(You don't mean is.)
Ted couldn't distinguish between her 6's and 0's.
(You don't mean Os.)

Rule 12. Use the possessive case in front of a gerund (-ing word).

Examples: Alex's skating was a joy to behold.
This does not stop Joan's inspecting of our facilities next Thursday.

Rule 13. If the gerund has a pronoun in front of it, use the possessive form of that pronoun.

Examples: I appreciate your inviting me to dinner.
I appreciated his working with me to resolve the conflict.


*And to prevent becoming absolutely insufferable, I will do my best to be more patient and remember that most of us are many years on the other side of a grammar class.

*Information available at http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/apostro.asp

I Really Lived

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking the kids to Scout camp. I want to be there with grass stains on my shoes from mowing Sister Schenk's lawn. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor's children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."
- Sister Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Over-Analyze

I over-analyze EVERYTHING. This is probably in my Top 5 Failings List.

It's bad. Sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night and repeatedly review something I said, or did. It goes like this: "Did I offend ______? Do they know that I'm usually sarcastic? Should I have done ________?"

Honestly, it's enough to drive me crazy. Or make me think I'm crazy. Or both.

And ultimately, it seems like a very selfish kind of fault to have. It presupposes that everyone I speak to carefully considers each word I speak. Obviously, that isn't the case in real life.

So, to those reading this post, just know that I never mean to openly offend anyone. Really. I've got nothing but peace and love to put out into this world! :)

And in the spirit of peace and love, and because I should use more visual images on my blog, check out these two sweeties:

Family History

From Bill Bryson's "A Short History of Nearly Everything:"

"If your two parents hadn't bonded just when they did - possibly to the second, possibly to the nanosecond - you wouldn't be here. And if their parents hadn't bonded in a precisely timely manner, you wouldn't be here either. And if their parents hadn't done likewise, and their parents before them, and so on, obviously and indefinitely, you wouldn't be here.

Push backwards through time and these ancestral debts begin to add up. Go back just eight generations to about the time that Charles Darwin and Abraham Lincoln were born, and already there are over 250 people on whose timely couplings your existence depends. Continue further, to the time of Shakespeare and the Mayflower Pilgrims, and you have no fewer than 16,384 ancestors earnestly exchanging genetic material in a way that would, eventually and miraculously, result in you.

At twenty generations ago, the number of people procreating on your behalf has risen to 1,048,576. Five generations before that, and there are no fewer than 33,554,432 men and women on whose devoted couplings your existence depends. By thirty generations ago, your total number of forebears - remember, these aren't cousins and aunts and other incidental relatives, but only parents and parents of parents in a line leading ineluctably to you - is over one billion (1,073,741,824, to be precise). If you go back sixty-four generations, to the time of the Romans, the number of people on whose cooperative efforts your eventual existence depends has risen to approximately 1,000,000,000,000,000,000, which is several thousand times the total number of people who have ever lived.

Clearly something has gone wrong with our math here. The answer, it may interest you to learn, is that your line is not pure. You couldn't be here without a little incest - actually quite a lot of incest - albeit at a genetically discreet remove. With so many millions of ancestors in your background, there will have been many occasions when a relative from your mother's side of the family procreated with some distant cousin from your father's side of the ledger. In fact, if you are in a partnership now with someone from your own race and country, the chances are excellent that you are at some level related. Indeed, if you look around you on a bus or in a park or cafe or any crowded place, most of the people you see are very probably relatives. When someone boasts to you that he is descended from William the Conqueror or the Mayflower Pilgrims, you should answer at once: 'Me, too!' In the most literal and fundamental sense we are all family."



"Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD:
And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse."
-Malachi 4:5-6

Start your family history now; enjoy your loved ones for eternity.

Bennie

Our cat, Benihana (Bennie for short) died early this year. It was more difficult than you might imagine - certainly harder than I thought it would be. One afternoon I was bringing the kids up to bed for their naps. There was Bennie, at the top of the stairs, laying on the floor. He gave one great cough and was gone. Helena saw the whole thing and wanted to know why his eyes were open so wide. I hastily brought them downstairs and dispatched Dan to figure out what had happened - but I already knew.

There were, in fact, two good things about this situation. One, Dan was working from home that day. He was there to help us, and to put Bennie outside, and deal with an emotional mom and a REALLY emotional Helena. Two, Bennie was inside the house, not prowling outside as he often did. I'm glad that we knew it happened, knew what happened (essentially, a heart attack), and that he wasn't lost in a snowbank somewhere, never to return home.

After the ground was thawed this spring, Dan buried him in a corner of our backyard.

We first got Bennie from our good friend Georgia, who had received Bennie from another friend who'd picked him up as a stray. He was the most friendly cat I'd ever met - almost like a dog in his devotion. He came when we called his name. He slept on the bed with us, occasionally curling up under the covers. He was incredibly gentle with the kids, even when they tugged on his tail and tried to use him as a pillow. He made the neighborhood his home and had everyone wrapped around his...well, paw, I guess. Really - our neighbors were sad to hear he'd gone.

Pictures speak volumes. He was wonderful with Helena and Hunter.


He liked to curl up in random, and sometimes strange, places.




He had a special love for trying to fit into places which were much too small for his somewhat pudgy self.


We all loved Bennie and will always remember his sweet, affectionate ways. Luckily, I have no doubt that this kitty will be going to heaven.

Jon and Kate Plus 8

I'm sure that most of you reading this have heard the recent rumors surrounding TLC's most famous family (or is that the Duggars???)? I happened upon the Season 5 premiere tonight, which featured the sextuplets fifth birthday party along with plenty of talk about Jon and Kate's "future." Right now they're having some serious marital trouble. At the end of the episode, they both concluded that they were committed to coming together for their kids, and promised to show their children that "married or not" they would have a good working relationship for their kids' sake.

Well, news flash to the both of you: Children don't want their parents to be divorced, but still have a good relationship. Children don't want their parents to be divorced, but get along at birthday parties. Children want their mom to love their dad, and their dad to love their mom, they same way that they love both of their parents. Children do not want their parents to be divorced.

Don't get me wrong: I understand, at least intellectually, the difficulty that must surround your life when you have more money than you need, paparazzi following you constantly, no privacy, concerns about safety, and two sets of multiples totaling eight children. Honestly, life is hard enough without those extra troubles. But please, for crying out loud, quit spouting that nonsense about "getting along for your kids" and "always being there" for them. It doesn't take much personal experience with divorce to know that those phrases, those ideas, are hollow - actions speak louder than words.

It was hard to watch Jon and Kate interact with each other. It's clear that they're both "faking it," and neither of them are happy. I'm sure their kids sense that, too.

Then again, what do you do? If my Grandma Gloria were here, she would say, "Too bad." I can't fix their lives; in fact, I can't change anyone's behavior but my own. Still, it is too bad.

Welcome back to blogging, Beth!

Random Thoughts

"He who cannot endure winter does not deserve summer."

I feel like we have endured one long, hard Michigan winter - and I'm ready for summer, or, even better, spring. I was thinking of my favorite time of year, when the flowering trees bloom and spread their scent far and wide. Really - I just can't wait for that.

I am in love with long walks outside at night. I took one this evening. The sky was clear and I saw so many stars, so much beauty, lots of TV sets...and had a welcome revelation about my calling (thanks to a well-timed conversation).

I realized how grateful I am that my feet are working right now. I have some chronic problems in that area, and my doctor has confirmed that, basically, they will always be getting increasingly worse. The pain is alleviated by custom orthotics that I wear in my shoes, and that allows me to take the aforementioned walks. In fact, one of the best parts of our last trip to Disney World was the lack of pain in my feet. They were tired, sure, but not in searing pain as they usually are, and it made all the difference during our vacation.

I also felt thankful today for Dan. Not just in the abstract, "he's a great husband" way (although he absolutely is), but because he is a huge factor in our family's self-reliance. Since we've moved into this house we have NEVER needed to call an outside company to do anything. He (with Joel's help on most projects) put on a new roof, painted the house's exterior, pulled out the overgrown bushes in the backyard, dug out a huge tree stump, installed a gas fireplace, put in tile in several places, removed a light-up toothbrush from our upstairs toilet, and is nearly finished with our bathroom. He also replaced a few windows and built a deck, and painted most of the rooms in the house. Besides that, I have this gut feeling that he COULD do whatever needed to be done. And it's not just his practical skills that I love; he is a loving, thoughtful, funny person who loves me, all the time, even though he has to live with me. I am one lucky woman, more blessed than I deserve.

Tonight we had a fantastic Laurel activity. Who knew that I would ever grow to love these girls so much? They are amazing (a generally overused word that fits perfectly here). They're fun, smart, beautiful, spiritual, not-perfect-but-on-the-right-path kind of girls. I love them!

My children might just be the funniest and most beautiful creatures on Earth; I'm not sure about this, but they could back up that claim. Hunter follows Dan into the bathroom we're renovating and says, "Help you??" They run and play outside, color together, laugh over what seems like nothing to me, and melt my cynical old heart every single day. Not sure what I did to deserve them; it's as if Heavenly Father picked out two of his favorite spirits ("noble and great ones" I think) and sent them to us. I'm certain that one of my greatest purposes in my life will be to become the sort of parent they ought to have.

One of my favorite books is "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen. Probably 79% of all adult women would agree with me - and goodness knows I don't want to run with the pack - but for me, this book is absolutely timeless. I listen to the audiobook over and over, watch the PBS movie once a month, read the book itself whenever I'm out of library books, and it never fails to please.

Is there any better invention in the past 10 years than the iPod? I am IN LOVE with mine. I had to take the photos off because I have so many podcasts on there. There is so much information available with this technology. I have a deep and abiding desire to travel (when my kids are older), and while I'm waiting for circumstances to be right for that, I can listen to travel podcasts. It's a dream. Iceland - yes. Morocco - no (except for the nifty Morocco pavilion at Epcot).

And what pastime beats singing in the car, by yourself, with the music cranked up? You go Beth - make up that harmony! No one can hear you! Car dance, woman!

Do you ever watch those Time-Life infomercials for multi-CD sets? I was watching "Romancing the 70s" the other night and almost picked up my phone. Actually, it never seems to matter what kind of music is included, because I always want it.

I hope this is interesting to someone...although I decided to ditch trying to be "fancy" with my blog, at least for today, and just put something in it that will be meaningful to me sometime down the road. You can all feel like you just read my journal, with permission! :)

Hot Topic: Octuplets

By now I'm sure everyone has heard of the mother who recently gave birth to octuplets. As you also probably know, she already had 6 children, two of whom had special needs (autism).

Saturday afternoon I watched a "Dateline" program interviewing this woman. I have to say, I think the general public is being a little hard on this woman. I have a hard time judging a person I've never met. That being said - I'm way too aware of the limits of my sanity to have eight children at once (much less 14 total).

This mother claims that the only help they've accepted from the government is approximately $400 a month in food stamps, and that that help is only temporary. She plans to support her children herself after she graduates from school and becomes a counselor. (Except who will watch the children while she works? Her parents? Can she afford childcare for that many kids?)

What are your feelings? Thoughts? Or is this topic really just lukewarm?