Food and gratitude

I apologize for my tendency towards pontification in this blog. To balance the overwhelming amount of my own sometimes scattered thoughts, I'd like to share a story from our Stake Conference this morning and thus make this worth reading.

Today Elder Glenn L. Pace spoke at our Stake Conference (kind of a big deal here in Michigan). He was relaying an experience he had with President Hinckley. They were alone in a room together on assignment, and Pres. Hinckley asked Elder Pace how his son's mission was. Now, Elder Pace didn't even realize that Pres. Hinckley knew about his son, or that he'd recently returned from his mission. Elder Pace shared a lot of information about the social and political climate in Russia, where his son had served. Pres. Hinckley said, "I know all of that. How was his mission, really?" Elder Pace thought about it, then said this: "We took our son to a celebratory dinner at Sizzler (a buffet restaurant). My wife and I filled our plates and went to sit down, but realized that our son was just standing, plate in hand, in front of the salad bar. We walked towards him and realized as we got closer that there were tears in his eyes. I said, 'Son, are you okay?' He replied, 'Dad, I can't eat.' I said, 'Are you feeling sick? What do you mean you can't eat?' He looked at me and said, 'For our last farewell dinner in Russia, we had a meal with one of our favorite convert families. Dinner was a bowl of soup, and two apples cut in half. I just can't eat.'" At this point, Elder Pace noticed that Pres. Hinckley was weeping - that's the word he used, weeping - and Pres. Hinckley said, "He had a good mission."

Naturally, I cried too. I was in public, so I couldn't weep. But I have, after big disasters like the tsunami and Hurricane Katrina, and at the terrible (and largely needless) death of impoverished people all over the world. We all try to help. But Elder Pace exhorted us today to do a little bit more. Be a little better, serve a little better, have a little bit brighter attitude, etc. Since we're the only creatures capable of self-reflection maybe now is a good time for me to think over my blessings and look for ways to share them.

And I have to add this - on the other side of the coin, I saw a yellow Porsche Roadster in the parking lot at church after conference with the license plate "SUCSES1." And I knew the people getting into it. And after all, if you can afford a Porsche Roadster, perhaps there are other ways to spend that money...but that's just my un-asked-for opinion.

"The key to happiness is service."

Notes from a small peninsula

This little peninsula has been busy lately! Lots of activity here in North Muskegon...Homecoming, concerts, parades, Halloween, and of course (and this is the biggest of all!) the transformation of the Deephouse into the Soelberg house! We're calling the Joel Soelberg family the "Mills Soelberg" family (after the street name they live on.) It's really amazing how much progress has been made since the closing on Friday, and I have to say that honestly I'm a little jealous...not of the work, but of what the end result will be. It has Dan and I thinking that we might have to put an addition on to our house. We love the neighborhood we live in, and don't want to move too far (especially now that our new neighbors have moved in - it's the most desirable part of Muskegon County!). We've done the math and determined that it's the cheapest way to have a house with twice the space, and big enough to fit a few more kids into. At least, that's what we're hoping. Sometimes change is good. Other times I just appreciate the joy of seeing small changes in my hometown, like the change of the seasons or someone's new garden.

To be truthful, there isn't much other news. But I've been pontificating, so at this point, the blog will change from a news report of my life to a strange (not weird!) journey into my mind...(it's easier to understand than, say, Stephen Hawking's):

My friend and former visiting teacher, Sandy Kempf, gave a wonderful talk a couple of Sundays ago about our responsibility to our fellow brothers and sisters in the church (and by extension, everyone, although we've made covenants to help our church families). It made me think of the history of our local ward and the various ways we've pulled together to help. Joel and Caity's new home teacher is Doug Cengiz. He was also the man in our ward that my dad lived with, right after both of them were divorced, until they could find lodgings on their own (strangely, they both remarried women named Pam.) I remember being somewhere around 9 years old and so homesick...but Doug always made me feel comfortable in their house, despite the fact that I must have been a big annoyance sometimes. I recall that being a deeply lonely time in my life (I had another one when I was 19 at college) and he shined out as a friend. He still is. My worry is that I haven't been enough of a friend to my ward family. I try, but who knows what influence we have? Caity called me the "ward sweetheart" (I think it was a compliment), but is it enough to just be liked by everyone? Yeah, I can make jokes, but what do I really DO for others besides that? I was thinking that one of the happiest people I know is my (now deceased) Grandma Nelson, and her life was a model of service to others, starting with her large family and extending next to her neighbors and ward family. I wish my own weaknesses didn't hamper my good desires.

I will say that having Caity and Joel with us these last few weeks has been extraordinarily good for me. It's helped me to be less selfish, more understanding, more organized (out of necessity) and more willing to extend myself. Truly, I won't look back on this time with any degree of annoyance - just gratitude that we could do anything to help them to move here! And I'll smile at our youthful excitement at new houses, fresh paint, and endless possibility.

"Time it was, and what a time it was, it was a time of innocence, a time of confidences." That's from a song by Simon and Garfunkel (of course - my goodness, what else would you expect from me?) that I discovered as a young teenager. Even now, a scant 10 years later, I marvel that I've gotten so much older, and gone through so many changes - accepted so much responsibility, gotten married, had a child, and so on. And all of my friends from then have done the same. I saw Dave Nash on Sunday - he was an original member of the MoTab - and his wife is due in 2 months. Kaleb, Megan, Caity - all married, with children. I guess time will just keep rushing by and when I get to the end, like my Grandma, what will I say? "Where did it go?" Or, "I still have so much to do!" Or, "I'm ready to go. I miss my family!" Or maybe I'll be twinkled, if it's time.

I wish I could gather all of my friends around me and relive some of those times again, but this time, we'd be covered in children...

A Little Bit About Me For Your Files

So, it's been over a month - a MONTH - since I've updated this blog, and that is unacceptable to me. I feel a real responsibility to my fan base to keep this going. Besides, there is a lot to share here.

We've had Joel, Caity, and Emma here living with us for about the last 3 weeks. Actually, it's been awesome in a lot of ways. Usually I tell people that and they're like, "That must be really difficult since you have such a small house." I appreciate both the insult to my home's size and the implication that four adults and two babies can't get along for a little while. It is true that we've all had some moments of frustration, whether we've admitted it or not, but I think that if the patience award were to be awarded today, it would go to Caity. She is pregnant, not feeling well at all, and vomiting almost every day. All while living in somebody else's house, and getting sick in somebody else's toilet. You know? Plus, she has to act nice and happy and stuff b/c I'm always around during the day. I remember the first trimester of my pregnancy was spent mostly in my bedroom (although plenty of time at the porcelain god), crying, reading, sleeping, and praying for it to stop. Caity's been so mature compared to that! I'm proud of her. Good news is, they close on their house Friday and with lots of work and the promise of Elders Quorum assistance, they should be able to move in sometime next week. That is, as long as they can get that nasty smell under control! We are going to have so much fun.

This weekend Kaleb, Suz, Roz, and Spencer all came down to visit us from their new home in Suttons Bay (near Traverse City). It was fantastic to talk and relax with them. We all had dinner at G&L (a local hot dog and burger place, famous here in Muskegon) and while we were sitting at the table, I had this vision of all of us as high schoolers...who would have guessed then that we'd all still be friends, shooting the bull over dogs and soda, with 4 kids (and two on the way) all around us? It was so...existential. Wonderful.

I am assimilating the stress of lots of people lately. My slate of church responsibilities is full, I'm preparing for a recital with my students, trying to help increase membership in Music Boosters, planning and executing a Christmas program including two ward choirs and narration, helping Joel and Caity get settled into their new house, planning on how to help my pregnant friends/family in various ways, taking care of my regular schedule of lessons and Helena...then I worry over my mom, who has so much difficulty at work, and Dan, who really doesn't like his job that well. I think I've always done this. I remember times as a teenager when people would confide in me and I'd lose sleep over it.

On the bright side, Dan and I are talking over some plans (future - maybe next year?) to make improvements to our home. We love this house - our "House of Dreams," you Anne Shirley fans - and we love this neighborhood. Instead of having to move and purchase an "in-between" house, we thought we could more than double the square footage on our house right now. It would likely take between $10,000 and $20,000, and we'd like to save as much of that as we can rather than have to take out a loan, but it would still give us a VERY reasonable house payment with more than twice the house.

Also, I'm reading this excellent book (I got the recommendation from Bas Bleu, a booksellers catalog) called "Educating Alice" by Alice Steinbach. It is marvelous, engaging reading. It's the experiences of a woman (I think just pas middle age) who decides to travel to various places in the world to learn very specific skills and become, temporarily, part of the culture. I just finished the first chapter, where she lives in Paris and attends the Ritz cooking school. Maybe someday...

Since this blog is longer than is probably allowed, I guess I'll stop.

How about a quote?

"Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion!" - Truvy, "Steel Magnolias"