That "Autumnal Air"

I went for a walk tonight. It was much-needed, and very fulfilling. Some of my friends have blogged recently about fall, and the after-effects of a big storm (with accompanying loss of electricity); my post tonight will have a few of the same thoughts.

I have a fairly sensitive sense of smell (call the Department of Redundancy Department!), and I noticed right away my two favorite fall scents: crushed acrons and cozy fireplace smoke. I used to think that spring was my favorite time of year, but fall runs a close second. Last night there was a vicious wind (invigorating in its own way), but tonight was very calm and mild, without any tang of winter air or crispness to it. I ended up taking off my jacket about 10 minutes into it. The whole experience was unaccountably peaceful. Right around the corner from my house is a street that feels like it just grew there. I can imagine what it was like before the houses were built, but I think it's improved now: it still gives you the sense that you're in the middle of a forest, but there are lives being lived quietly among the trees and lake. Just lovely. I ended up walking for 45 minutes under a half moon and all of the bright stars that go with it, and it was completely perfect. (Incidentally, I love walking at night. It's dark, so you don't get hot from the sunshine, and everybody has the lights on inside their homes and you can see everything: light fixtures, decorations, what TV shows are on. Luckily, nothing creepy yet!)

On Thursday night, I finally went to see "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," at the "dollar theatre" that only charges $2.50 for a seat. This is priced right, because the seat you get will present a challenge if you are larger than, say, a 10-year-old who's been rather underfed. The $2.50 per seat price is made up for by the hugely expense concessions. My dinner that night was a medium soda and popcorn for $7.50. What? Anyway, the movie was completely and utterly fantastic (but if I hadn't read the book a few times, it might have confused me.). I was by myself and so I didn't have to answer questions from Dan, like "why is here there?" and "what's going on?" It's not like he's generally oblivious, he's just never read the books and the movies have to cram more and more stuff into the same amount of time, so it doesn't hurt to have a little help. I called home as I was leaving the theater and Dan told me the electricity was out. This was bad, because "The Office" was coming on and we couldn't record it. (Episodes are now available to watch online, free.). Additionally, the power had gone out just as Helena was making use of the potty. (He went to get a flashlight while she remained, in the dark, on the can.). This was all kind of an adventure, till the next morning when I was bathing by candlelight and planning what to get out of the fridge so I wouldn't open the door too much. I took the kids out for a walk - well, Helena rode her bike - and Fireman Steve from our local dept. was trolling around town in his fire truck. Helena put her fingers in her ears - she's learned that at parades, those suckers are loud - and Steve asked us how we were doing, if we had everything we needed, etc. It was just nice - really nice - to have him stop and talk with us. He flashed the lights for Helena but didn't blast the horn or anything, told us the power should be on around 1pm, and drove on.

After the whole thing was over, I realized that I am not prepared for any emergencies at all whatsoever. Also, I noticed that I have interior lights on during the day way too much. We have enough windows that if I just open the blinds or curtains all the way, even on a cloudy day we have enough light. I discovered that I need to get the laundry done immediately, always, particularly when it comes to towels and underwear. AND, I was glad that we still had water and gas power. After spending so much time watching "1900s House" and the like, and marveling over the deprivation that went on there, I see that for generations of time, having no electricity or limited resources was the order of the day. We're so fortunate. Unbelieveably so. I mean, Dan spends a lot of time figuring out shelving to store our stuff...because we have more than enough. Clearly, we need more of the RIGHT stuff for emergencies.

Whew! I'm exhausted all over again. That was a wicked long post. Sorry.

Oh, and Big Fat Revelation inserted here: I am focusing too much on the wrong things in life. The thing to focus on is not exercise, or "me" time and the lack of it, or housekeeping, or whatever - the thing to focus on is the Lord. EVERYTHING else comes from that. Isn't it so simple?

My First Day of Seminary

I had to share this! I remembered it while writing my previous post and almost fell out of my desk chair.

On my first day of early-morning seminary, my friend Tom (who I later learned was gay - go figure!) picked me up to give me a ride to the Atkisson's house, where our class was held. Everyone in the car was exhausted. Luckily, Tom's car had a few things to help us wake up: no muffler, one window that stubbornly refused to go up OR down, creating a lovely wind tunnel, and a stereo that could blast Dolly Parton's famous "9 to 5" at top volume. I'm not saying it brought the spirit into that nasty old 1970's Detroit beast, but it was invigorating.

I could really go on with the seminary memories: Me vomiting in my teacher's van, Jake Viraldo smashing pineapple muffins into the driveway, Mike throwing a book at Jake's head, "good-morning hugs," me breaking the glass on Tom's front door...

But that's good fodder for other posts!

Salvation Through Music

I don't literally believe that I will receive salvation in an ultimate sense from music. Just wanted to make that clear.

However, on a more earthly, temporal level, it seems like music is sometimes the only thing that keeps me from a long-term stay at Northwoods (the local mental hospital. Incidentally, I've been there several times to visit a friend, and it's a pretty creepy place. Also badly in need of redecoration, particularly in the "lock-down" unit. Let's get some more stylish seat-free toilets!).

The reason I'm blogging tonight is because I feel guilty. Everybody's blogs that I read regularly have been updated (some with pictures! Snazzy!) and mine has been sitting here for who KNOWS how long. Since I have nothing of any interest or importance to say, and no new pictures to post (have to get them off of the camera, I guess) I'll just post the names of some good DVDs I've gotten from the library lately. Check them out!

1900 House
1940s House
Manor House (as you surmised, these are all from the same series. They are very absorbing - reality tv for PBS fans)
Jonestown (CREEPY! Don't watch it, Caity!)
China From the Inside
The Living Weapon (American Experience series)

Also, don't miss "The Hudsucker Proxy." You'll be sorry! And if you haven't seen "Steel Magnolias" yet, well, I think that's just un-American.

I'm off to bed. Deep down I'm a night person but the kids (read: Hunter) are forcing me to be an "early-morning" person. I did early-morning seminary for four years...what happened?

"The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize!"

Negative Nellie!

Seems like all of my posts lately have been negative, which doesn't really reflect my state of mind. I received some wonderful counsel from Heavenly Father this weekend, including but also independent of General Conference, and the weather has FINALLY turned to autumn, which thrills me to no end. Plus, I have a kind and generous family who are always willing to help (thanks Caity, Christina, David, Andrea, Mom, Dan!).

But today was kind of bad. Not all bad, just parts. Helena's really suffering from having Aidan here. Most of it is subconscious, I think, but it's a combination of regression and anger that she doesn't really understand. On top of that, she's been stammering more, I think as a result of the increased stress around here. Now, it's only been a week and a half since our new schedule's set in, but of course I'm worried and impatient and compulsive about everything. However, she has been helpful, sweet, and loving at the same time. Example: This morning Hunter tried to eat a bouncy ball (the kind you buy for a quarter from the machines at the grocery store.). Helena came running to me: "Hunter's trying to eat that ball!" I scooped it out of his mouth and thanked Helena for (more or less) saving his life. She patted me on the shoulder and said, "I'm your big helper, Mom." Indeed! (Then we did a big childproofing cleanup.)

I have a plan for what to do (thanks to prayer!) but wish I could feel calm emotionally and mentally about everything. My mom said my grandma dealt with regression (upon the birth of a new sibling, or when Grandma's parents moved in with them) by just ignoring it, and it went away. Unfortunately, now you feel like a jerk if you don't get super-early intervention for everything!

Anyway - send me some love, everybody! Who doesn't need it?

And in the middle of all of this, I feel like my problems are dwarfed by the problems my good friend is dealing with. Now that is someone who truly needs prayer.

Here's a line from an Alison Krauss song that has nothing to do with anything, but I think it's beautifully descriptive:
"We'll rise above the scarlet tide that trickles down from the mountain and separates the widow from the bride."

On the Up Side...

Two pictures that I love of two people I love most:

Prayer

I've noticed that I've been asking a lot of questions from my Loyal Readership on this blog (which is also my personal journal...go figure, I guess my life has no secrets!). I have a problem - a not small one, but still not something I want to hash out on this blog - and I want to pray about it. I have already prayed about it in the past. The trouble is, everything you read says you should try to figure it out "in your mind and in your heart" before you go to the Lord. Do I have to have it figured out, then ask Heavenly Father if I'm on the right track? Because my problem is SO not figured out. I've got no idea what to do about it.

So do I just pray anyway? And just keep praying until I get some inspiration? HELP!

Also, things have been pretty hectic with having three kids, but truthfully it's my own (Helena) that's the hardest. She's obstinate about things and starting to regress, doing lots of things just for the attention, good or bad. Oh dear. I keep saying "it's just an adjustment period" but I'd like to have a date for when the adjustment will be complete! Bless her, she has so many good qualitities, but I feel myself focusing on the bad.

Dan has this quote on a post-it note on his computer screen: "Be the change you want to be." - Gandhi

Good advice.