2:00 AM Friends

WARNING: THIS IS PRACTICALLY A JOURNAL ENTRY.

As a teenager, I had a plethora of 2AM Friends. These are the people you call in the middle of the night when things are SO BAD you can't function alone, and you need a living, breathing human to communicate with.

Now, as an Old Lady, I'm so much more cautious in my relationships. I try to have a little more respect for people's sleep (goodness knows we none of us get enough). I don't want to bother someone at that time of night, especially since these phone calls typically involve some crying and hyperventilating, sometimes simultaneously.

Not too long ago, I had a 2AM moment and there was no one to call. Not that I couldn't talk to Dan, or say a prayer, but I'm hoping all of you reading know what I mean when I say I needed to talk to a 2AM friend. What ended up happening instead was that I broke down on someone at church who isn't a terribly close friend and probably wasn't expecting it - but who has such a gift for discernment that she KNEW something was wrong and innocently asked what it was. She had NO IDEA that Niagara Falls was coming to her shoulder.

Also, I feel this compulsion to have everything Look Good. Don't get the wrong idea: about 95% of my life is Very Good, with that little 5% of Oooh, That Ain't So Great. When I start to get hung up on that 5% I need someone to talk me down from the ledge, metaphorically speaking. But I don't want to call someone and confess that, oops, I'm definitely not perfect. Wow.

I often call my friend Sky, but he's a model who lives in New York City and whose life is the most completely opposite of mine imaginable. It helps, particularly because he makes me laugh, but since he's not married, or a parent, or female, there are some things he can't advise me on.

Luckily, I live with my best friend, and Dan does help immensely. He tries so hard to understand everything (even the hormonally whacked-out things) and actually gives me wonderfully practical advice. I love him for that.

Still, on those nights when things are bad and it's 2AM and I don't want to wake him because he has to work the next day...I remember those times when I had more 2AM friends.

On the downside - there was a LOT more drama back then. Things have calmed down considerably. :)